| Location | Long Sutton, Spalding, Lincolnshire |
| Age | 17 years |
| Cause of Death | Road Traffic Collision |
| Date of Birth | 03/11/1989 |
| Date of Death | 23/10/2007 |
| Visitors | 8,885 since 26/10/2007 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
Kerrie-Ann Powell passed away on October 23rd 2007 aged just 17, following a tragic car accident just one day after passing her driving test, something which she has worked towards for so long. Kerrie was a hairdresser, a passion she had had from a young age. She leaves behind many people who loved her and miss her so much. I am one of those people. I knew Kerrie from when I was in year 8 at school, she was in year 7, and before long we'd sit together on the school bus, and I soon came to learn what a special, beautiful person she was, and I came to trust her more than anyone. I confided in her and she knew how to make everything seem better instantly, whether it was with a hug, a smile or just letting me know she was there. Now she is gone, and my hearts been destroyed. My life has changed so dramatically I can't even explain, and every day I wish it was me and not her. She had so much to give, and that has been taken from us all, and it's not fair. And every day I live with the guilt that in her last few months we only spoke a few times as I was preparing to head to university by working all the hours I could. I love you Kerrie-Ann, and I would give my everything to have you here today.
I found this poem on GTS some time ago, and unfortunately didn't note the author, but if anyone could tell me who it was I will add it immediately. I want to put it here as it sums up all that I feel, but I could not write those feelings myself because my thoughts are just too jumbled:
My world will never be the same, yer there's nothing I can do,
I just try to recall the happy times, the one's I spent with you.
I try to hide my feelings, but sometimes they're clear to see,
Grief is not an illness, it's something that lives with me.
It isn't something I can explain to others, I wouldn't even try,
I sit alone and think of you, and my tears just never run dry.
We are supposed to learn to live with grief, but it isn't easy to do,
When the only person who can stop this pain just happens to be you.
You never thought this would happen, and neither did I,
You're the last person in the world I thought would ever die.
It goes without saying that I love you every day, and miss you so much more,
You were part of my life for so very long, and I part that I adored
xXx
Love you xXx
Just a quick message for you beautiful to say I'm really sorry I didn't come on here yday, but I know you know why I couldn't so we shall leave it at that hey. Anyway you know it doesn't mean I wasn't thinking of you, cos I think about you every second of every day.
Well as you know I went and bought you some flowers first thing this morning but the weather has been so awful today that I haven't been able to come down, so if it's ok with you I will give them to my mum cos it's dark when I finish work and don't like coming down in the dark. Don't worry though you'll get some extra special ones next week to make up for it huni. Until then you'll have to make do with your bear I'm afraid.
Well had a bit of an emotional afternoon didn't I sweetie, hope you're not mad with me, I just really don't like it. I know I need a new car but I didn't want dad driving us in those conditions, the roads are dangerous enough as it is. And then when we got there there was something about that car that just didn't seem right, was you trying to tell me something? I didn't mean to get upset but I really don't like cars anymore, I know I have to drive but I hate it Kez, I really do. But I know you'll help me find one you think is safe and that you'll keep watching me so I will get there in the end.
Not much more to tell you really, think I'm going to your house on Tuesday so I shall need you there with me for that one lovely, then Thurs/Fri think I'm taking Stephy-Lou to the cinema so I'm sure we'll have a giggle. Hope you come with us.
Ok beautiful I'm starting to think too deeply again so I'm going to get off before I set myself off crying, you know what I'm like don't you.
Missing you so much precious.
Be safe up there.
xXxXx
Missing You More Every Day Angel
Heya huni. Just thought I would write you a little message. Thinking of you so much angel. Well your mummy found the present and card I left you and sent me a message last night saying it was beautiful and it'll take pride of place in your room. Hope you like it as much as she does. She's so lovely Kerrie, told me how special I was to you and that I've got to hang in there and not give up cos you wouldn't want that and that you'll always be with me. I know you are, I see that in so many ways, it's just not the same Kezzie, I just need a cuddle. I bet you're really proud of her aren't you. Just like she's so very proud of you. Kez I hope you really listened to everything in that card, was so so so hard for me to write but I needed you to know sweetie, you mean so so much to me and you never let me tell you. I so wish you had Kezzie. So that letter was the only way I could think of letting you know what you did for me.
Oh Kerrie this is getting harder and harder every day. Everyday is another day without you, another day I want to come up there and be with such a special person. I know I have to stay strong but it's just such a fight Kez, a fight I'm so tired of. You used to say that more than anyone I deserve a break from so much hurt in my life, but nothing before compares to losing you Kerrie. Nothing.
I think I'd better go before I get myself all upset.
I love you so much babes.
Forever and always
xxxxxxxxx
Hello beautiful ...
Oh Kerrie, there really are some horrible people in this world. As you probably know there's been some people writing horrible things on your RIP-KP bebo page and it really really upset me when I first saw it last night, made me cry for ages, really wish those people could see what they're doing, come and face your friends and say the stuff they are saying to our faces rather than hide behind a computer, bet they wouldn't be as confident then would they! I really think the people responsible are sick in the head, I mean what sort of people go out of their way to hurt and upset others by saying such cruel, heartless things. Don't listen to what they're saying sweetie, you really are the most beautiful girl, inside and out and your friends and family will never forget you. I know that you can read what we are all saying when we chat to you online so I'm not going to stop just because some idiots think otherwise. But I'm telling you this on here cos I want you to do something Kezzie, please don't let Stephy or your mum see what's been said on there it will really upset them like it did when that girl wrote stuff before. Don't need you to do it for long Kez, me and Kimmy are working on getting it all removed ok.
That's all I really have to talk to you about today, cos I don't want to get myself all upset again, oh yeah apart from Kim is going to fill me in on all the charity stuff asap so hopefully will be able to get working on that soon, give me something to focus on ey.
Love you lots babes.
Always and forever
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Love you xxxxxxxxxx
Hey sweetie, only me again. Bet you get fed up with me don't you. Thought I would write to you tonight cos I might not have time to come online tomorrow cos it's Jadey's 18th isn't it, so will have lots of family round etc. Should be a good day, I've spoilt her and spent quite a lot as you know but she's my little sister so I wanted to, not that she would ever do the same for me lol. Will be kinda hard for me too though, when I see her and all her friends turninf 18 I think of how excited you were, but you didn't quite make it there did you hun, and that makes me sad cos I know you would've had so much fun. Oh deary me.
Anyway, been and bought you a nice card today, there's a few things I need to say to you so I shall save it for the card instead of telling you on here. I will maybe bring it down with some flowers at the weekend (don't get too excited just yet they won't be extra special ones, those will come abit closer to me going back to uni) or I might wait til your mummy lets me know she's got a free evening and I shall bring it to you at home. What would you prefer babes? Got you a bear too, hope you like it. Just really wish I could give them to you in person Kez, I really really would give anything for that.
Well bet you was laughing with me at work this afternoon wasn't you. Was having a really bad day, on a complete downer thinking of you and everyone kept asking if I was ok cos I looked upset, I just said I was but the truth is I will never be ok while you're not here. But then this afternoon Jack came to help me out didn't he, he is so funny isn't he, really made me laugh. He just says exactly what he thinks and doesn't care who hears. And that girl who pulls her trousers up far too high, oh my gosh she was walking by and he said "if you walk any faster love you'll get a friction burn, can I offer you some lube!" I actually thought I was going to wet myself. But then I started thinking about how you used to make me laugh like that and got myself all upset again. I'm a silly billy aren't I!
Hmmmm what else is there to tell you. Well I'm going back to Sheffield on Sunday for a docs appointment on Monday, then back home Monday night. Hope you're there with me cos you know how much I hate going don't you. Should have exams on 19th, 22nd and 23rd but after talking to my tutor at uni she has advised I don't sit my exams til the summer she doesn't think I am well enough. It is true that I can't concentrate for more than a few minutes and no matter how much I revise nothing will sink in but I don't know if it's the right thing to do? Got to get a doctors note even though uni already have one which is a bit silly.
Think I have rambled on enough now don't you huni, so I will leave it at that. I miss you so much gorgeous, nothing is the same, I just need a cuddle from you and to hear you moan about me making your jumper soggy just like you used to.
I love you Kerrie-Ann
xXxXxXxXx
Come home???
Heya Kezzie,
I always come on here with so much to say but start to write and end up deleting it all. Had planned to ask your advice on some things but nothing I say matters. The fact is I miss you so so so so so so much Kerrie, the pain really is unbearable. I just want to come and be with you, to leave this horrible world behind. Is there a place for me? I don't think I can take this much longer, I need you back Kez, need a chat and a cuddle, just to see your face :'-( Why did you have to go Kerrie, everything was okay when you were here, well it wasn't but you helped me through it, helped make it okay. I just don't know where I fit into this world, when I'm at uni I just want to be at home because I feel closer to you here, and I hate not being able to bring you flowers when I'm at uni, but then when I'm home I don't want to be here either. Suppose you saw dad lose his temper tonight, made me cry so much, I hate it when he shouts he just doesn't stop to listen to what I'm saying, jumps in assuming he knows what I'm going to say. Even Jade said to him I was trying to explain and she knew I was right but there's just no point in trying to tell him. I keep hoping one day he will realise what he's like but I'm kidding myself. Don't think he realises how much him swearing on my life that he wouldn't hurt our family again still hurts me, that should've stayed with him forever yet he went and did it all again didn't he. I remember you were so so mad but you made me feel better Kez, the same as you always did. He should realise how much it took for us to let him back into our family but he doesn't, takes it totally for granted. Oh dear. Enough about that before I get far too upset.
Well haven't had a very interesting day, started off rubbish with mum in a bad mood for some reason rushing me around when there was no need I knew there was plenty of water in my car and I told her I'd look when it was light but no I had to get the torch and then there was plenty of water anyway, then I had to rush to work and got stuck behind all those slow moving vehicles, then work was pretty chaotic as I'm sure you saw, we are so busy atm, was so glad when it got to 6 oclock, another 10 hours over with.
Okay I will stop waffling about nothing.
I miss you so much Kerrie.
Love you just the same.
Please come home my angel.
Or let me come to you.
All my love ♥
Lauren
xXxXxX
I Miss You So Much My Special Angel
Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart
And I will love you
Forever, and ever, we never will part
Oh, how I love you
Together, forever, that's how it must be
To live without you
Would only meen heartbreak for me.
* ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *
Heya huni, the words in the song above are so true Kerrie-Ann, I will keep you with me forever angel, theres a place in my heart that only you fill, and that's there forever darling
Thought I would drop by and fill you in on todays events even though I'm sure you saw them. Gosh I nearly fainted today at work, how on earth that lady got the staple right through her finger i will never know but it must've hurt so much, she just came over carrying the box and said she thought she had stapled the box to her hand then started screaming, it was not pretty was it! i thought i was going to pass out so god knows how she felt, bet she won't be back in work for a while will she! other than that the day was pretty dull really, time didn't seem to go too slowly though so it was ok. although lots of your songs played again, but today i found it quite comforting for once, didn't get upset, i hope you're proud of me for that.
Oh Kezzie, you're mummy sent me such a lovely message today, made me cry but I think it's helped me a bit, I know what she said is right and I do need to do this because it's what you would want, and I hope she is right that you will be very proud of me. Because I love you so much and I want to do what you would want me too, to thank you for all you did for me. I shall reply to her later about what she said but might need your help with that sweetie, going to wait til I'm abit less emotional first though!
Well I need to ask you another favour now. Will you be with me tomorrow please? I'm going to need some of your strength tomorrow. A year since I lost grandad isn't it, so going to be a bit hard. Not too sure I can deal with going to see nan as i know she will be upset like at christmas but it would be nice if i could find the strength dont you think. I hope you're looking after eachother up their Kerrie.
Well that's it for now babes, I shall love you and leave you for the time being. I hope you are dancing with the angels in heaven tonight precious, it is a friday night after all.
I love you so so so so so so so very much Kez
Wish I could tell you that
All my love
Lauren
xxxx
Iya love,
Well you finally got your flowers like I promised, hope you like them. Couldn't decide on pink or purple so you got both huni, I'm sure you don't mind that do you! So many beautiful flowers there all for you special one, just shows how much you mean to so many people. Can't believe the glittery ones I bought you for xmas are still alive, look as good as new, well a bit less glittery but I can tell you've been looking after them! Had to move them from the vase I bought you though, it was the new ones turn, so they can lay on the ground now and spread the glitter even further, made me smile when I saw the glitter in the grass! Gosh your candle was even more of a nightmare to light than usual, 6 matches Kezzie whatever next, bet you kept blowing it out on purpose didn't you. But its alight now, hopefully will burn for you for a while gorgeous.
Well I am going to go now before I start thinking and getting upset. Missing you like crazy babes, really am. I just wish I could come up there and bring you home to your family and friends.
Love you lots and lots and lots and lots and lots more
Lauren
xxxxxxxxxxx
Happy New Year Beautiful
I'm sorry I didn't write yesterday like I said I would, as you know I was an upset girlie and didn't know what to say. Held it together for you New Years Eve though, hope you're proud of me for that, well apart from the last 10 mins or so and when it came to going to sleep but it was New Years Day by then wasn't it. Haven't managed to bring you your flowers yet either, been too hard but i really do promise I will bring yoy some tomorrow.
Ooooh hope you got my text, just wanted you to know that at midnight I was thinking about you more than ever, looked up to the sky as I pressed send. Really wished you was there with me Kezzie. I miss you like crazy. Nothing is right without you. Seemed wrong celebrating the new year when it's another one without you, the second new year I haven't wanted to be in. It's so hard Kez. I try so hard to do things that I think would make you proud, things you'd want to see me doing but the emptiness I feel is unbearable Kerrie, sometimes I think I can't do it anymore. But I don't want to hurt anyone else. Really need to be able to talk to you Kerrie, hear your voice in all its squeeky glory, see your smile and those bright blue eyes, have a Kezzie hug. I'd give anything.
Sorry I didn't mean to say that it just came out. Well I don't really have anything to tell you babe, nothing good ever happens in my life anymore. I'm sure you know what's happening anyway. Get my second christmas tomorrow though, more presents with the family so hope you're there with me. More smiles to try and make them think I'm ok though will be hard, another present I get to open but you don't, but it is nice to see them as they only fly over once/twice a year.
Ooooh did you see me getting so mad at that woman at work today, I only gave my opinion didn't ask for my head to be snapped off. What I said is true, it is alot of pressure and I wish now that I could've stopped letting them make me feel like nothing I did was ever good enough because it meant I stopped living my life, through my all into trying to make them proud. Wish I'd have taken each day as it comes like you did, not let anything worry you, that's why now I've lost you I know that things need to be different.
Well I had best go angel. I love you and miss you so so so so so so much gorgeous. ♥
I hope you are having so much fun where you are Kerrie.
Love you loads
xXxXxXx
I love you Kerrie
You were my sunshine on a winter day
When I was lost you lit my way
I pray I'll be with you again
To end my grief and heal my pain
It's not the same without you here
Your pictures I can't help but stare
So precious is what you are to me
Inside my heart is where you'll be
Your face I see through tearful eyes
Mm smile is just my brave disguise
But I know you don't cry in heaven above
Because for you there's no more pain, just all our love.
Don't think I could say any more than that Kezzie.
I love you lots angel.
xXxXxXx
The memories are all in my mind
Just like the song playing on here says Kezzie;
Thanks for the times that you've given me
The memories are all in my mind
I will never let go of those memories Kez, they are too special, cos you're so special too. Always have been and always will be. I promise. Have a few special friends don't I Kez, the ones I know will be there when I need them the most, and I'm just so grateful that you were one of those special few, you still are my angel. Love you so very much!
Bet you was laughing at me at work today wasn't you, tried so hard to be patient with that woman but it was impossible, she is actually useless. Not rocket science is it! Then John kept coming over to see how I was finding working with her lol, walking by making little comments, telling me to keep smiling, think if I didn't keep laughing at her I would've cried. Lots of your songs kept playing today missy, got through them though, well just about hey. That sly tear just didn't want to stay in.
Feeling abit rubbish tonight Kerrie, could do with a hug please. Just been thinking about how selfish I've been being wrapped up in how much I am missing you when other people are missing special ones too, makes me feel really bad, like I should try even harder to deal with it myself, just don't know what to do anymore :(
Oh dear I will be quiet cos was trying to keep this a happy post.
Hope you're wrapping up in something warm up there Kezzie, it's sooooo cold down here.
I love you lots precious.
Always.
All my love
Lauren xXxXxXxXxXxX
P.S can you have a word with your mummy about reading my little message please, i'm still thinking about it a lot angel. Thankyou lovely xXx
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